What He Saw
by ThePepperSheep
Summary: AU - People live with what they believe is true, and they call it reality… but someone’s reality may all be mirage. Shisui learns how wrong someone’s reality could be.


Disclaimer: I don't own any of this stuff

As a forewarning - this story is about suicide. Sasuke is a little younger than he is in canon – maybe around five or six – this explains why he can't fully grasp the situation.

*******

The windows were glowing, the midmorning sun burning halos around the saints. For the most part, the church was empty, save for the first few pews, occupied by small family. The summer was never pleasant in the church, and a woman with long black hair whispered quietly to her young child, who stood and pushed open one of the windows. Shisui gazed at the neat garden. A haze was over the small churchyard pond, and vibrant butterflies were floating among the honeysuckles that covered the fence. A perfect day to spend outside. A tall priest entered, shuffled his thoughts on the podium and turned to the small congregation.

"Gatherings before God are not all meant to be joyous. Today, we are here to remember someone who's life was full of prospect but was lost too soon. Uchiha Itachi …"

Itachi's mother choked against her handkerchief and held tightly on to her remaining son, Sasuke. Shisui's eyes fell on the dark coffin and onto the boy lying against the silk. Itachi's eyes were closed, dark lashes brushing against his cheek, and the deep lines that creased his face were somewhat softer. He sighed at the altar.

"Look what shit you've gotten yourself into this time."

_(His body was found on a bright June morning. As the sun and Mikoto woke the house, Sasuke came running down the stairs, confusion across his face._

"_Something's wrong with brother… he's not waking up."_

_No note, no explanation of any sort, but that was Itachi – Shisui didn't expect anything different. The final report from the coroner ruled his death asphyxiation, caused by an overdose of sleeping pills.)_

Shisui could not say that he was in _total_ surprise when his father came to him, grim faced, and sat at the edge of his bed awkwardly, trying to find words to explain the situation about his younger cousin.

_("It's not that you're cousin was weak, Shisui," he fumbled with his necktie as he tried to remove the pressure from his throat. "He was just –confused. He was never all there – the stress from college might have just… pushed him over… do you understand?"_

"_Yeah, I do.")_

The priest stepped down from the podium, and Itachi's father, Fugaku, took his place. His heavy hands gripped the wood as he addressed his family.

"Itachi was a special child. From small, he always was different. I remember when he was two, he would sneak books from my library and read late into the night. Mikoto would find him asleep on the floor, cradling a flashlight," Mikoto gave a watery chuckle, and dabbed her eyes. "And when Sasuke came along, you would never find them apart. I have never seen brothers closer than they were. When Sasuke would have nightmares, it was Itachi he went too, not us. They would spend most of their summers in a park, eating sweets and skipping stones. Sasuke was lost once Itachi went to college."

Fugaku closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "He was my son, and I loved him. I wish – I wish he told us what he was going through. He never said anything was wrong - ever. If I knew…" his words were sap in his throat. "This is –

_My fault. Did you know I loved you? Why couldn't you hear me when I spoke to you? When you withdrew, we should have gone for help, not just acted like everything was normal. The family therapist said Itachi must of had mental problems, and we did the best we could for him– it wasn't our fault._

_But it was. I am his father, and I should have known._

"-a tragedy." Fugaku tried to turn to the side, but merely closed his eyes and walked off the altar. Shisui followed him with his eyes and onto the small family. Fugaku sat down and put his head in his hands, breathing deeply. His wife quietly rubbed his back, making small circular patterns with the tips of her fingers. Sasuke just stared at his brother, his head angled as if he wasn't entirely sure what to make of this situation. He looked to his right and then back at the altar, trying to make the emotional connection that Itachi wasn't next to him anymore.

Shisui growled in frustration. _What were you seeing, eh, Itachi?_

_(After three morning lectures and a lab, it was refreshing to feel the cool alpine wind tangle in his hair. As he passed the large duck pond, he saw several people pointing, including some professors. _

"_Only twelve, yes, that's what I heard - you know Hitori is one of his professors; according to him, that kid knew Sanskrit, Mandarin, Japanese and Arabic by the time he was four – proficiently, mind you," The man standing next to the chattering women whistled lowly. The women smiled as if it were her accomplishment and continued. "Hitori said that he doesn't have any true plans yet, but I suppose he could do anything he wants."_

_Shisui walked quickly past them and saw his small cousin on a bench, reading a book. He smiled a little when he heard their chatter quickly die as he sat next to Itachi. Itachi looked up, blinking against the sun._

"_Shisui." He put the book down on the old stone bench and turned to the pond. He had never been one for eye contact. "Your classes have finished?"_

"_Well for now, yeah. I have that shitty Calculus lab in an hour though – if I hear that man go on about derivatives one more time I think I might just strangle him."_

"_Hn," Itachi smiled wanly, playing with the tattered cover of his book. Shisui moved onto the ground and stretched himself onto the spring grass. He looked up into the Mulberry canopy and closed his eyes, hoping to nap before his class._

"_You're the only one that likes me, you know that, Shisui?"_

_Shisui opened one eye. Itachi's brow was furrowed as he gazed at the small ducklings in the pond. Shisui sat up, staring incredulously at him. _

"_What are you saying? All the professors can't get enough of you, you know that Itachi? The twelve year old, studying metaphysical philosophy and several dead languages – you're famous!" Shisui exclaimed, his grin tugging a little too tightly on his face. "And your parent's! All they ever speak of is their genius son –" Itachi's hands gripped his pants slightly " And don't tell me you forgot about Sasuke? The boy worships the ground you walk on!"_

_Itachi grimaced, and something almost close to anger showed on his normally passive face._

"_The child prodigy, the genius, that's who they love," Itachi murmured quietly, twisting feet that barely grazed the ground. "But Itachi? Do they know what he loves doing? Or what he even wants? – no. So no, Shisui, they don't."_

_Shisui opened his mouth, not entirely sure what to say. It was with relief that he looked down at his watch to see that he only had seven minutes to get to class. He stood up and dusted his jeans, glancing uneasily at Itachi._

"_I have to go – maybe we can have lunch after. Are you free?"_

_Itachi looked at his cousin fully, then turned away. "No, I have a linguistics class."_

"_Ah, well, I guess I'll catch you some other time. Later, kid." He swung his backpack onto his shoulders, and walked out into the bright light. He turned to wave at his cousin, but he was already buried in his book, holding it close to see the words in the shady light. Shisui ran to class.)_

Mikoto now stood up, patting Sasuke lightly. Shisui rubbed his head – _stupid, stupid, stupid! What was wrong with you?!_ She started speaking, but Shisui heard none of it.

_(And as the first semester passed, Shisui saw less and less of his younger cousin. With his own friends and studies to contend to, he believed Itachi was fine. It was only during summer vacation that Shisui saw him again. _

_Itachi was sitting quietly on the tree swing Shisui himself helped build one summer. At first, he didn't recognize him – his shoulder length hair had turned waist long, and his once full face was drawn and pale, like a plant left in the dark. Shisui asked Sasuke just to make sure he wasn't mistaken – Sasuke glanced quickly at the swing and nodded nervously._

_Itachi didn't even look up when Shisui stood in front of him. Squatting low, he looked directly in Itachi's eyes, who blinked but didn't turn away._

"_Hey, kid. I haven't seen you in almost half a year! Sorry I missed your birthday – I had to go out of town with my folks. You're thirteen now, right?"_

_Itachi nodded slowly._

"_Why don't we get something to eat – I'm starving."_

_Itachi stood, and Shisui could see adolescence in Itachi – his limbs were awkwardly long and his gait was uneasy. As they walked through the garden gate, Mikoto smiled and waved. Itachi shut his eyes._

_The whole walk to the sandwich shop was quiet. Only when they were seated and waiting for their order did Itachi finally speak._

"_How was your semester?"_

"_Oh, you know – same old, same old. I passed my classes with A's, except for that damn Calculus – got a C there. But at least it was a passing grade, you know? Now I don't have to take it again." The waitress put the heavy plates in front of them and walked away._

_Itachi hummed slightly. "Mine was okay. Professor Hitori took me to several conferences, and I spoke at a couple of them. I studied to rest of the time. What did you do?"_

_The last question was so hesitant Shisui couldn't help but stare at his friend._

"_I also studied, but who can do that all of the time? I joined a sports team and I met this girl – I should introduce you to her sometime. She didn't believe me when I said that I knew that genius kid everyone on campus keeps talking about… hey, are you alright?"_

_Itachi's hands were clenched tightly together, and his eyes were fixed firmly on the diner's checkered floor._

"_Even you?"_

"_Even me what?" Shisui looked worriedly at him. "Look, maybe we should get that to go – you look kinda sick, and I think its best you go home and lie down." _

_Itachi stood up quickly and put down his half of the tab. The walk home was filled with a heavy silence, made only more pronounced by the heavy heat. At the back door to his house, Itachi stopped._

"_I think you better go Shisui… but thank you."_

"_Yeah… no problem." The glass door shut between them and Shisui watched Itachi walk upstairs. As Itachi passed Sasuke on the stairs, Sasuke quickly ran the rest of the flight, and bounded towards the back door. Shisui frowned at the five year old as he slid open the door._

"_What's wrong, squirt? Why aren't you playing with your brother – I thought you two would be at the local sweet shop, especially since you haven't seen him for a long time."_

_Sasuke twisted his navy shirt with pudgy hands._

"_Brother doesn't like playing much now. Mom says it's cuz he's growing up. I asked mom if he would keep gettin' quieter the more he grew up – she said no, and that he was just going through a stage." _

"_Oh," Shisui looked worriedly at the child. "Does he fight with you or your parents a lot?"_

"_Nope. We talk to him, but he doesn't talk back. Mom and Dad says if he doesn't get back to normal in a month, they're gonna take him to a psychogist. Shisui, what's a psychogist?"_

_Shisui smiled wearily. "That's a psychologist, Sasuke. It's like a mind doctor."_

_Instead of looking confused, Sasuke beamed widely. " So he'll be all better? I don't know why mom and dad have to wait – I would take him today!"_

_It would be just a week later when Fugaku and Mikoto would be wishing they had done just this.)_

After his Aunt two more relatives, including his mother, went up and spoke. By now it was noon, and the sweltering heat was almost solid in the air. Shisui joined hands with his parents and murmured the 'Our Father' , his eyes still fixed on Itachi.

"…and deliver us from evil. Amen."

"God always has his reasons. Do not mourn long – your child is back home." The priest finished quietly and made the sign of the cross. Shisui mimicked him.

The small congregation filed in the aisle and slowly separated – some made towards the door, while other lined to the front. Shisui watched as Itachi's parents took turn to kiss his head and Sasuke stood on tiptoe to poke his brother on the forehead.

"Goodbye, brother."

Shisui walked past his Aunt, who nodded slightly and picked up Sasuke. He stood in front of his friend, not sure what to say. He forced a smile.

"I wish you knew how wrong you were."

He turned and walked into the summer afternoon.

* * *

_Reviews and criticism would be much loved!_


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